I almost lost it at Mikhael's school yesterday. When it comes to my kids, I am very (VERY) sensitive. I can't have other people take advantage of my kids' innocence (NOT AT ALL- OVER MY DEAD NAILS). Mikhael learned a life lesson yesterday- never make friends with people with bad habits, bad people will always be bad. It's in them, it's their nature.
Mikhael's become friends with the classroom bully- Vincent. I thought it's okay at least they're friends- he wouldn't pick on my son. I am also talking (or friends maybe) with his mom, we eat lunch together. I know the kid's behavior in school and he's also one of the reasons why I need to watch Mikhael closely at school.
Vincent is the typical bully- he's BIG (tall and fat), he's of course, stronger than all of the kids in their grade level. He can just grab someone and have them do things, I saw him push and punch other kids, he destroyed Mikhael's trolley, he eats other kids' baon, get other kids' things and worst is that he is a liar (scary cuz he can lie and would really stick to it as if he was telling the truth). He has a ton of complaints in the student affairs office. Before yesterday's incident happened, I felt bad for Vincent's mom. It's not easy to hear complaints against your son- Moms confront you and your son informing you that your son did this and that, complaints here and there. I know parenting is such a big responsibility, it's not never easy to discipline a child. You'd need to choose your words correctly- words should be suitable for children. There are a million things you need to consider in dealing with a child. At 6, it's when they develop their values and principles in life. I want Mikhael to be wise in life. I want him to learn how to fight his battles- when to use the carrot and when to use the iron stick. Which makes it hard because I am not beside him every minute, every millisecond of his life. I just hope and pray that he internalizes all the values I am trying to teach him.
So yesterday, I went to school to bring him lunch- just like what I do on a daily basis. When I arrived at the parent lounge, I saw Glyzeel's Mom. I met them last year when Mikhael and Glyzeel were on Prep1. They were in a different section, but since there are only 2 sections, people know each other. Glyzeel's Mom, Grace, told me that Glyzeel lost her money earlier that day, it was 200+ pesos. She said that Glyzeel's money was in her wallet, which was placed inside her bag. But someone took it, even the coins were gone. She was asking me if it was possible that a grown up (sundo or yaya) could have gone inside the classroom and took her daughter's money. But I said it's impossible for an outsider to actually know who has money in the bags so I told her it could be one of the kids. I was confident that my son, Mikhael, would never touch anyone's money. I trained him to not want money, if he needs something, he asks me and I never saw him having an interest in having his own money. He's usually deadma with money. He doesn't even open my bag and take anything from it. He would always ask me first.
So when we got in the canteen, Vincent and his mom were already having lunch, so Mikhael automatically went beside Vincent and they played with my phone and Vincent's tablet. That's what they usually do during lunch. They play five nights at Freddy's. I almost forgot to ask Mikhael until I saw Grace and Glyzeel pass by in front of our table. So, I immediately sat beside Mikhael and whispered in his ear to ask if he knew who took Glyzeel's money because I had a hunch that Vincent had something to do with it. I leaned towards his ear and said "Babe, na wala gud ang money ni Glyzeel kanina, alam mo kung sino ang kumuha?" To my surprise, he took 100 pesos from his pocket and handed it to me. I looked at his face to assess if he was nervous or what. The poor boy didn't know how grave the offense was. He has this naughty smile that told me- no biggie Mama, it's with me, we were just hiding it. So I immediately asked him how he got it and he said Vincent gave it to him. Since Vincent was just seated with us, I immediately confronted him and asked why they took Glyzeel's money. Of course, he denied it to death and told me that he didn't take Glyzeel's money. His mom searched for money in his pockets, but she found nothing. So I asked Mikhael again and again what happened, he just kept telling me that it was Vincent who took it from Glyzeel's wallet and handed the money to him. I know Bas very well and I am confident that he was telling the truth.
I told them to go see their teacher and talk to Glyzeel's mom. I don't want to let this incident pass for a couple of reasons-
1. I don't want Mikhael blamed. My kid was honest enough to tell the truth while the real perpetrator is denying it and my son gets blamed? NO WAY!
The Mom was also going along with her son's lie. She just wants her son to get away with it which isn't fair to Mikhael. I am standing beside my son no matter what.
As a parent, if a child does something they know would upset you, they will, of course, deny it to your face. It's your job as a parent to know your child well and know how to interrogate them and not tolerate them to tell you lies. It's BS!!
2. I want to show Mikhael that the truth will always prevail. That he does not need to be scared as long as he did not do anything wrong and that he is telling the truth.
3. I want him to learn his lesson. He should not be taking money from anyone. He only takes money from me or immediate family. He should not be taking money without me knowing. I am thinking about a lot of things- he could be molested, raped, it could lead to prostitution... so, NO!!
4. I want him to know that I stick to the truth and what is right. I will not tolerate his mistakes and he needs to see the consequences.
5. That bad people will always be bad people and they will be bad for you. He may play with him and his mom may talk to me, but they will only save their ass even if it's at your expense.
6. It is not cool to tolerate a friend or a playmate to do something bad. He should not be a part of anything like that. He should know that he will be in hot waters if does it again.
I honestly got pissed and confronted Vincent's Mom, I didn't like the way she was tolerating her son. I told her to investigate and interrogate her son because my son's telling us that it was Vincent who took the money. She was implying that Mikhael was the one lying so, the taurus came out of me once again. Well, the words weren't good- they were, in fact, ugly. Sorry. I was really blunt and told her that her son's been lying that she needs to get to know her son better and not tolerate his son. I confronted her about the toy she found in her son's pocket while she was looking for the money- I asked whose that was and she said she didn't know. So, I told her "you didn't even ask why the toy was in his pocket and you dare tell me that your kid is not touching or making pakealam other kids' stuff?" ...she turned red and walked out. Taurus was heating up and her horns were on her.
When the teacher came, I told her about the problem. She already knew it and told me that she also caught Vincent playing with Glyzeel's tablet and when confronted, he pointed his finger to my son once again- telling the teaher that it was Mikhael who got the tablet while he was actually the one holding it. URGH! Taurus level 2 activated. So after the short conversation with the teacher, I left. But when I reached the parent lounge, I saw Vincent's Mom talking to Glyzeel's Mom.. oh wow! So I called them and told them that we need to talk in front of the teacher. So in front of us 3, she kept denying so I told her bluntly- "How can you correct your son if you cannot even accept his mistakes". I said a lot of things in a Taurus level 2 manner, I already forgot half of the things I told her. I just made sure that it was clear to Glyzeel's mom that I took my son's actions seriously and I want to fix it. Mikhael and Vincent were also sent to the guidance counselor. I don't like the idea of my son had to go through that but he needs to realize how grave that offense was so he doesn't do it again.
Moral lesson this experience is that Vincen't attitude is actually a result of his Mom's attitude. I don't know if it's her pride or maybe she doesn't want to discipline her child (she's tired?). I took pity on Vincent because when I went out the classroom a lot of parents approached me and agreed that Vincent was a liar, that he also took someone's money, he punched someone, etc. Her son's always involved in issues and would probably get expelled, but I can say that it's her fault. She's not responsible enough to discipline the child. Even if it's blatant that the kid was lying, she will just take it to save herself the hassle of talking to her son and disciplining him. It's her upbringing that made her son a bully.
As for me, I will work hard on disciplining my children. I do not want them to be hated or talked about in school or anywhere. I want them to grow up being good people- God fearing. They will be men sooner or later, so it is important for me to be there for them as they grow up. Yes, I am a stage mom. I will stand up for my children because if I don't who else will?
