It's been a really long while since I last wrote. I broke my own promise to myself -> to always write on this blog as regularly as possible. But you know, life happened... and I got really busy.
Like super busy.
So far, things (and people alike) have been really great. My last entry was kinda emo (and I hate it). I shouldn't really allow myself to be so emotional and share our fights in this blog. This blog was supposed to be something to remind me of positive things when I read back some time in the future- when I'm gray and old. Hmm.. which makes me wonder, will I be proud of myself when my old self gets to read this? I know I'll be wiser and bitchier in the future! LOL. I'm pretty sure I would.
Every time I write here, I pour my thoughts and heart out. I just think and think and then type and type. So whatever it is that you read in here, is pure me- emotional, sometimes psycho, crazy, bitchy and all sorts of weirdness, awkwardness, sweetness and goodness (of course).
There are so many beautiful things to share actually... To start off, my kids have been really great. They grow up pretty fast and as the days go by I enjoy their company more and more. It's amazing how one sibling develop to become a completely different person from the other sibling even if they grew up on the same household, came from the same parents and spend almost all of their time together. I can see how amazing people they are going to be as they grow up and be part of the society.
My family have been really great too. We have challenges here and there but we stay as bonded and united as ever. My relationship with my family has never been perfect but we love each other unconditionally and no matter what the differences are we stick together.
In contrary to my previous post, my relationship with him has improved a lot. He probably knew that I was heading out the door. I'm glad he compromised and did his best to adjust and make things work. Right now we enjoy each other's company more and we have gotten better on explaining our side and making each other understand. There are still things that needs to be worked on but I can feel that we are headed towards the same direction. A good one!
Thank you Lord God for all of these. I know that this is all you and you alone for I am nothing without you. I love you, I praise you and I adore you!
I have also been missing the "currently" thing that I usually do, so let's see:
CURRENTLY
Reading
Nothing... I haven't read any books for a long time. As I mentioned earlier I have been really busy. But Jinkie told me she'll be lending me a nice book. I am looking forward to it and hopefully I could share it here.
Writing
Aside from emails, I am writing this blog :)
Nakaka-miss mag sulat, sobra!
Listening
To Christina Perry's "A thousand years". Such a sweet song! It soothes my already tired mind in this crazy-noisy office. Not that I hate the people around, but it's just how it is in here- crazy and noisy.
Thinking
About people's different personalities, different perspectives and different lives. People go through different things and we should respect it. RESPECT is such an important, important aspect in life. As simple as- if you don't have anything nice to say, shut up - RESPECT. Not that I am going through something, it's just an instant thought that crossed my mind at this very moment.
Smelling
My own scent. I am obsessed with it :)
Wishing
Wishing for the best for everyone. Sometimes the best is not really what we want but it's best for everyone. I know it's kind of hard to understand and people are selfish by nature. We always fight for what we WANT but it's not always the best for everyone. So, we need to give in, sacrifice and compromise for things to fall into place and be at peace. Even if you didn't get what you want, compromising and knowing that everything is settled and calm, I think you actually get peace of mind and it's the best thing you can give yourself. I really don't know what's gotten into me but these are my random thoughts as of the moment.
Hoping
That people realize that the "best" is not really what we always want... and that in life we need to give in, let go and sacrifice. Self love doesn't mean selfish. When you give yourself peace of mind, isn't that self love already?
Wearing
A mini polo dress. Sexy! lol
Loving
My life! Thank you Lord. Your presence sets all the difference. I offer and lift everything up to God.
Wanting
A lot of money! There's just so many things I want to do. I am not getting any younger and the kids are getting bigger. I need to move my ass and plan a great future.
Needing
A great breakfast! It's been a tough night, I need some well deserved reward :)
Feeling
Happy! ....and sad too. As per my fortune cookie- "Do not be covered in sadness or be fooled in happiness they both must exist." Pretty deep, huh? But knowing myself, I gotcha!
It's just that sometimes when I'm sad, I get consumed with sadness and become really unproductive. When I'm happy I am on cloud 9. I hop and pop and see rainbows and butterflies to the extent that sometimes I am drifting away from some of life's realities. So, I do understand what the cookie means.
I think I am having some brain fart or brain diarrhea. So many thoughts and questions in my mind surfaced by writing this journal. I should be writing more and more. It's a therapy for this wonderful, beautiful, crazy mind
Hopefully!!!
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