I love you goodbye... ?

You don't know how much pain you're causing me EVERY TIME you accuse me of things that I avoid. I have always been a good girl. It sucks big time to work so hard to be a "good girl" and still hear you make up stories about me being a cheater...

I wanted to really keep you, you know.

For a really long time, I believed that there was nothing more I could wish for because I have a good man with me- I defied my family and lost a few friends. I chose you.

I was happy knowing that I've been fixed.

I was so happy that I didn't notice you weren't... you weren't fixed.

As time goes by... I am slowly being treated like the one who cheated on you. Baby, it wasn't me. It was her.

It felt like I was drowning. The more you loved me, the more you gave life to the monsters in your head.

Baby, it wasn't me.

Many times I have imagined being your wife- cooking for you, cleaning our home, buying stuff for our home, taking care of our kids and sleeping beside you ALL the nights of my life. Just imagining made me happy and contented knowing that we can head towards that direction someday...

But unfortunarely, it's not how I imagine my life with you anymore... It's all vague now and I no longer see myself with you. You've become so controlling and exaggeratedly jealous. "Don't do this, don't do that.. do this and that instead..." Man, oftentimes I feel like I'm no longer myself..


I remember Belle telling beast after having a wonderful night and after he asked her if she was happy.. She said, "How can one be happy if they aren't free?"... really there's no point keeping me under glass. I have no plans of ruining this "used" to be great relationship. Yeah, used to be.. because it ain't great anymore.



I guess it's easy for you to say "we're good now, we have no issues anymore... don't be mad anymore.. let's not fight anymore" because it was you who created them in the first place.

I have given in to you so many times. I can't even count them. I have accepted those lines and tried to move on but they just keep on coming back.

Trust- that's the cure! I have begged you a thousand times to start trusting me so we'd be happy. There was no reason at all to not trust me because I am yours and yours alone. BUT what did you do??? You kept the accusations coming... Now, my cup's almost full.

I was completely open to you and you completely ignored all my out-pour.

So, don't be surprised if one day I will just walk away. All the feelings just falter... mostly because of senseless arguments that are so suffocating. You just keep pushing that there's something between me and this and that guy... If I did have another guy, I wouldn't stick with you. To be honest. You make me sick.

So, if you don't change... you know where we're headed.

I am so willing to let this go. I am hurting while I'm with you. I am beginning to be much happier without you.

I am sorry... I loved you so much and now it's just not the same anymore.

If you want to fight for this then at least show me you're trying...

You always ask me "is this love?" .... Now let me ask you this- is not trusting your partner love? Why do you call him/her a partner if you don't even trust them?

I will soon be out. This is not a warning but a plea so we can still work it out. I don't see myself like this for the rest of my life. I would rather be alone.


P.S.I just saw my last post back in July, it still spoke of the same thing and it didn't even start in July. I have been in this pit for quite a long time. I don't feel change and I don't see you trying... sadly