Catching Up- Life

It's been a long time since I last wrote on my blog and I miss writing so much. I tried to scribble a lot of stuff in the past few weeks but they all sound psycho. It's been crazy this past few days. It's crazy in a positive-nice manner, a lot of changes has been going on and so far I'm just happy and contented in a way.

So what do I talk about? I don't even know where to start (lol)- crazy eh? Hmm.. Bas is in first grade now, his first time to be in school the whole day. This part though is stressful. You know how little boys can become so uncontrollably naughty at times. At least I am patient enough to keep up with everything- he's into fights, bullying, not writing his lessons and all the parents (I guess) should go through if they have a healthy, smart, adorable and energetic sweet 6 yr old kid. Zaak on the other hand is starting to be a darling. I don't know though if you can call a one year old kid a "darling" but that is what I think he is for the entire family. He baby talks a lot, you can give him instructions and he tries his best to obey. It's totally cuteness overload! Every time I get stressed with my little boys- I am only a kiss and hug away and -BAM!- all of Mama's stress and anger are gone. I am so blessed to have children. It could be too much for other people but for me I think I would be lost and useless without them.

I am also very thankful for the people around me. My ever supportive friends who not only supports me in my life changing GOOD decisions but also supports me in my weirdness and craziness. Of course, to you who patiently tolerates my

clumsiness, stubbornness, my being occasionally schezzo personality and all the awkward things I do. I am just so thankful to God, despite all my shortcomings I am blessed. My family has always been there for me too. Somtimes I might be cold and blunt but it doesn't mean I don't appreciate all the good things they do for me. With all the things that I have been through, I wouldn't have done it without them. Sure there are challenges but there is nothing that I cannot overcome without you, Lord, and the instruments you sent to help and guide me all through out. I want to let all the people who are in my life right now, I feel so blessed to have you. Because of you I feel loved and I have strength to keep moving forward.

I just wanna pause, be thankful and just appreciate how beautiful life is. My heart's just filled with so much joy and happiness right now.  Its imperfections make it so amazingly beautiful. God is an artist for sure :)

As a teenager, I used to think that my life is an empty desert-like place. It's vast yet empty. I used to write about a barefoot young lady who wandered the desert to look for shelter. I was that young lady- lost, confused, hurt and scared. I was rebellious. I thought that no one understood me. Well, I guess it's part of growing up. My values are just so modern and so different from my family, especially my mom. I was a PUNK (oh yeah \m/). I

was so fascinated with the anti-social people, the stereotyped smart people. Actually, I still am right now. It's nice to know that people who looked so trashy can also be talented. Anyway, this blog isn't about them. I'll probably write about them one of these days. Most of my teenage life is influenced by them and my opinions are quite different from the norm. I looked at the world in a different way- doesn't mean it's negative but it was different. I was just so exposed- read too many articles and books and met a lot of people at a young age. I don't regret ever that part of my life. It honed me and made me the person I am today. I am just glad that my life is no longer the deser-like place. It's not empty, it's vast but not empty. It's filled with good things- I probably failed to recognize and appreciate them before or they weren't there yet at that time. What matters now is that my life is filled with good people I love who loves me too. That's all that matters now.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that never fail to appreciate life. It's so beautiful. Always be positive and be thankful for all of us are blessed. God is indeed an artist... I love you ♥