Thank You For The Inspiration, Kris Aquino

I recently read Kris Aquino's blog and was very touched. I can relate to most of the stuff she posted in there. I was never her fan, I didn't hate her though, to me she's just part of Filipino Television and Culture. But now I will follow her blog and all the stuff that she put together in her site. It's inspiring. I never thought that I would be able to appreciate her this much. I've always thought that she is self-centered and that she loves to advertise herself. But after reading her blog, I realized that she's just like me and most of the women out there who experienced life's highs and lows. 

Kris Aquino with her sons Joshua and Bimby.

I think all women that experienced heartbreak can relate to her, especially if you're a single mother. I once thought that I would be like her in the future- very successful in my career and in motherhood. She has 2 sons and I picture myself like her with my 2 sons as well. I used to think that as long as my sons are with me and that we are well provided then I couldn't ask for more. I would picture the 3 of us having dinner, eating out, watching movies, shopping together, traveling and a lot of good stuff with them. I'm not saying that I've become a man-hater or any of that nature. It's just that right now, when I am with my kids I feel contented. Maybe because I am happy seeing someone special as well apart from being with my kids. I don't know for sure. But right now, the kids are young and they are still very much into ME. They would always look for me, cuddle with me and we're very happy spending time together- it just gives me a very happy feeling. It's almost like I'm in cloud nine. After all the pain that I experienced in my past relationship, I can now say with happiness and no regret that I have moved on and I am happy and contented with my life right now. Although there are times that I worry about the future. But since I am a woman of faith, I know that as long as I have Christ in my life nothing could go wrong. My sons and I will never struggle.  Right now, I am doing well with my job and I am able to take care of my sons' needs very well. I am truly grateful with all the blessings we are being showered with. ♥

Going back to Kris' blog- I read this part and couldn't help being teary eyed:

“Yes in all honesty, I still pray for someone who can be my strength. I still pray for someone to talk to at the end of a long day, someone who will listen, and someone who will also teach me new things, challenging my mind, and mirroring my values. Someone to pray with and pray for. Someone I can trust with all my fears, someone who accepts my past, and still looks forward to our future. And someone who won’t be tired about love, but will accept, nurture, and treasure what we will share.” -Kris Aquino.

I just realized that I also need to have someone whom I can pray with and pray for. Someone I can trust with all my fears and accepts my past. I want a life partner. Those are the exact words I kept hidden in my heart. I think it was my pride that locked those thoughts in the deepest part of my heart and mind. I didn't want to recognize it with the fear of getting hurt again. Although I have someone really special and making me happy right now, I am scared to death that I might totally fall and get hurt in the end. He is nice, I have NO complaints. But sometimes when I start daydreaming about him, I pinch myself and use my imaginary injection to inject anesthesia in my heart and brain. I couldn't allow myself to get sucked up with the feeling again. I would sometimes imagine cooking for him, preparing his clothes, kissing him when he comes home after his basketball game. I do need someone in my life. It's hard to totally admit it. I cannot put it into words but at least I am able to write about it. Well, for us it's too early to tell. I've only dated him for a few months. I get excited with the thought of seeing him and being with him. He makes me blush and giggle. He gives me comfort and joy. Aside from my kids, he's the only guy I want to be with. He's the only guy I would miss and yearn for. Here I am again with the not knowing the future dilemma. So unlike Kris, maybe I should just go with the flow and NOT expect too much on anything so that I if ever I get hurt, it wouldn't be too much. I don't mean to sound negative, it's just that I don't want to put pressure on whatever we have right now. I just want to enjoy and savor the great things we share.

I will just keep this in mind: "True love doesn’t find you, neither do you find it. You build true love together, and you can’t do that when you’re tired, jaded, or weary. Love is built by those who have inspiration, determination, fortitude, trustworthiness, loyalty, courage, childlike faith, openness, enthusiasm, and enchantment with what is, plus all that will be." - Kris Aquino

Thank you for the inspiration Kris Aquino :)