Thank You For The Inspiration, Kris Aquino

I recently read Kris Aquino's blog and was very touched. I can relate to most of the stuff she posted in there. I was never her fan, I didn't hate her though, to me she's just part of Filipino Television and Culture. But now I will follow her blog and all the stuff that she put together in her site. It's inspiring. I never thought that I would be able to appreciate her this much. I've always thought that she is self-centered and that she loves to advertise herself. But after reading her blog, I realized that she's just like me and most of the women out there who experienced life's highs and lows. 

Kris Aquino with her sons Joshua and Bimby.

I think all women that experienced heartbreak can relate to her, especially if you're a single mother. I once thought that I would be like her in the future- very successful in my career and in motherhood. She has 2 sons and I picture myself like her with my 2 sons as well. I used to think that as long as my sons are with me and that we are well provided then I couldn't ask for more. I would picture the 3 of us having dinner, eating out, watching movies, shopping together, traveling and a lot of good stuff with them. I'm not saying that I've become a man-hater or any of that nature. It's just that right now, when I am with my kids I feel contented. Maybe because I am happy seeing someone special as well apart from being with my kids. I don't know for sure. But right now, the kids are young and they are still very much into ME. They would always look for me, cuddle with me and we're very happy spending time together- it just gives me a very happy feeling. It's almost like I'm in cloud nine. After all the pain that I experienced in my past relationship, I can now say with happiness and no regret that I have moved on and I am happy and contented with my life right now. Although there are times that I worry about the future. But since I am a woman of faith, I know that as long as I have Christ in my life nothing could go wrong. My sons and I will never struggle.  Right now, I am doing well with my job and I am able to take care of my sons' needs very well. I am truly grateful with all the blessings we are being showered with. ♥

Going back to Kris' blog- I read this part and couldn't help being teary eyed:

“Yes in all honesty, I still pray for someone who can be my strength. I still pray for someone to talk to at the end of a long day, someone who will listen, and someone who will also teach me new things, challenging my mind, and mirroring my values. Someone to pray with and pray for. Someone I can trust with all my fears, someone who accepts my past, and still looks forward to our future. And someone who won’t be tired about love, but will accept, nurture, and treasure what we will share.” -Kris Aquino.

I just realized that I also need to have someone whom I can pray with and pray for. Someone I can trust with all my fears and accepts my past. I want a life partner. Those are the exact words I kept hidden in my heart. I think it was my pride that locked those thoughts in the deepest part of my heart and mind. I didn't want to recognize it with the fear of getting hurt again. Although I have someone really special and making me happy right now, I am scared to death that I might totally fall and get hurt in the end. He is nice, I have NO complaints. But sometimes when I start daydreaming about him, I pinch myself and use my imaginary injection to inject anesthesia in my heart and brain. I couldn't allow myself to get sucked up with the feeling again. I would sometimes imagine cooking for him, preparing his clothes, kissing him when he comes home after his basketball game. I do need someone in my life. It's hard to totally admit it. I cannot put it into words but at least I am able to write about it. Well, for us it's too early to tell. I've only dated him for a few months. I get excited with the thought of seeing him and being with him. He makes me blush and giggle. He gives me comfort and joy. Aside from my kids, he's the only guy I want to be with. He's the only guy I would miss and yearn for. Here I am again with the not knowing the future dilemma. So unlike Kris, maybe I should just go with the flow and NOT expect too much on anything so that I if ever I get hurt, it wouldn't be too much. I don't mean to sound negative, it's just that I don't want to put pressure on whatever we have right now. I just want to enjoy and savor the great things we share.

I will just keep this in mind: "True love doesn’t find you, neither do you find it. You build true love together, and you can’t do that when you’re tired, jaded, or weary. Love is built by those who have inspiration, determination, fortitude, trustworthiness, loyalty, courage, childlike faith, openness, enthusiasm, and enchantment with what is, plus all that will be." - Kris Aquino

Thank you for the inspiration Kris Aquino :)

Love: in my eyes

Love defies everything.

Love is everything.

It transforms people.

It's the greatest alchemy.

It is a miracle and magic rolled into one.

It's a gift and a curse.

It cures people and at the same time it also makes people sick.

It makes people see and yet it can also make you blind.

It's delicate.

It's not meant to be played with, it should be taken seriously...

Day Dreaming

With only 2 days before Valentines, people are starting to be in the mood for romances and all the cheesiness in the world. My work station is filled with messages from co-workers- all sweet and happy thoughts. Everyone seems to be very inspired, especially with the love-songs-only background music. I'm sure they're making plans for Saturday (February 14). But me? No.. I have no plans whatsoever. I know the streets will be filled with people and it's not my thing. Not my thing? or is it because I don't have a date? Well, I never really experienced going out on a date on the exact valentines day because of it being crowded. I make plans with my friends or partner on the days after it. 

But I don't really mind, I think. I've never experienced it so I don't know the hassle, if there's any. If ever someone would insist to take me on a date on February 14, I would like us to have a private date. On a beach out of town perhaps. He's got to give me flowers! My valentine's day wouldn't be complete without it and would really feel good and blush about it the whole time (lol). I know I'm being overly girlish but please don't hate... So we're at a beach resort somewhere out of town. I'm thinking we had a pleasant travel on our way to the resort. We should have really planned it well so our trip is not ruined on travel hassles. Once we arrived, he's already asked the crew in the resort to prepare flowers for me as we arrived. Gosh, I can't even help blushing just imagining and writing about it. I would really give him a tight hug and a lip lock. I would probably have a thought in my mind- "you're a really good good boy, I will reward you later". That alone will lighten up my day and would really be sweet the entire vacation. Once the flowers are given, we'll have a really good brunch. Then we'll unpack in our room. I would probably jump on his back and give him candy kisses and I wouldn't care where it leads to. He's made me really happy and so I should do the same. I would wait until dinner before I give him my gift, I would probably get him something he needs. Something special but useful. Flowers would be enough for me but if he gives me something more, it's more than welcome. After the moments in the room, it's time to put on the outfit I've prepared for the beach resort, aside for picture purposes, of course I'd like to look beautiful for my man. I want him to feel special by preparing for the trip and with taking responsibility in taking care of myself not just for myself but for him as well. Since we're both very happy, we will enjoy exploring the place. We'll create great memories. We will have a lot of laughter and sweet moments. We should be ready for dinner before 6pm. I need to freshen up for dinner. I would need to put on make up. I want it really special. I would give him a short speech about how he made me happy by simply taking me out for a trip, the flowers and the time he spent with me. I would probably be teary eyed but I wouldn't let it out cuz sometimes it's hard for me to stop crying. I don't want to ruin our dinner date. We would be tipsy after dinner and the rest is history :)

The morning after would be one of the greatest mornings I will ever have. With him by my side while I am inside his arms, I couldn't ask for more. After the hugs and kisses and the sweet stare. We would rise up for breakfast and another "moments" in the place before we head home. What a great feeling, so in love and so happy. Although I was badly hurt before by the man I chose to love, I still look forward for the day I found a new guy who would make me fall in love like this. Inshallah!