"Hello" -from the past

DISCLAIMER: I am completely happy and contented with where I am at right now. My heart is at peace and it is happy. 

I just got this weird feeling when I saw a throwback picture some years ago, when my life was completely different. A friend posted pictures that had my ex- the father of my kids. It was back when we had a simple and happy life together as I recall. BUT the years after that were dark and painful.

I have forgotten that happy life, I mostly remember the dark ones. It gave me a weird feeling, a pinch of pain. I don’t know but it made me teary eyed. I remember the shirt and the shorts we bought together. I changed him, he used to be so rugged (damak) and I changed him and cleaned him up. He looked really good. He looked like our sons. Oh God, it’s too painful. He was my friend and my protector back then. We could have been happy now had he not decided to go to another path. Some things are just not meant, I guess. I still believe I made the right decision and that we are better off where we are at but I just couldn’t shake the sad, nostalgic feeling.

Life is just so weird sometimes.

I don’t even know why I suddenly felt the need to write about it. Probably because I recalled the last time we exchanged messages in Facebook. He told me that his life here, when were together was his happiest. I didn’t believe it because heck, he left, right? I told him all I remember was the pain and the dark times we shared. He said he mostly remember the good times and that he knows he will never be that happy ever in life again and that he thinks about it every day. At the back of my head, I said “gaba” lol.

But seeing the picture, I understood what he meant and I know he was telling the truth. I felt pity over him. He was so happy in the picture.

Poor life decisions… it really gets to you one way or another. The sad part is that you realize it when it’s already too late.

I will forever love that man. He gave me 2 beautiful children and because of that he will always have a special spot in my heart. I wish him all the best in life. I know someday he will be my friend and protector again… not in a romantic way but I know one of these days, he will be here for us and we will just laugh about the sad times… as friends.