Thursday, April 28, 2016

30th

Oh boy, time's flying so fast... I'll be 30 next week (Inshallah)! No biggie, really. I would always tell people that I still feel like I'm 24. It feels like I've never really changed at all. But when I get to talk to younger people, I can definitely tell the age difference (lol). It's true that experience is the best teacher, when you're older it means that you've experienced more than younger people did and I think that it's a great accomplishment. People my age doesn't need drama in our lives, I guess. Yes, we are emotional and all but we don't want to deal with it. We don't want to focus on it. I've written a lot of emotional sh*t here for sure, but it's just a phase in my life that I need to let out once in a while. 

Now that I'm 30, I feel like I'm old enough for a lot of things and old enough to have better opinions in life, such as...

Relationships: We (people my age) have already experienced a lot of heartbreak that we are better in relationships. We understand the opposite sex better than we did before. When I was younger everything was so ideal- a good guy spoils the girl, he should always hold the door for her, give her flowers, tell her sweet nothings, yadah yadah yahdah.. But now, I can say that being able to accept flaws, talking about differences and thinking about what's good for each other is more like what a relationship should be. We now know what to fight for and what to let go of (hopefully). It's not easy but who wants a fucked up relationship when the ocean's got plenty of fish? Right? #Goals

Family: Family is forever. They are the only ones who can accept you for who you are. They know your good and bad side but still loved you and are still there for you. They are the most important people in life. So, we take care of them and/or we argue with them but still we know that we're there for each other no matter what. Blood is thicker than water. #Mayforever

Friendships: By now, people my age (who took care of friendships) would have friends that they've kept for 10 years or more. These are friends that have become family. These are friends whom you trust the most that you can tell anything about and be who you really are without getting judged. These are people who've accepted you and your insanity. I have friends that I've been with since elementary and I'm so proud having them. I know that no matter what we can count on each other. I know that if we make mistakes we would be the first people to tell each other straight to our faces, we would always support and be happy for each others accomplishments and good relationships. We think about what's good for each other. It's true love- no insecurities and no competition. 

Career: When you're with the right people, they would encourage you to pursue a good career, support you and be happy for you. This is the time of anyone's life that you find your niche. It's the time that you plan and want more for yourself. When you desire something good, all the universe would conspire to help you, so be patient in life and just always do good. I always tell my kids that when you do good you'll never go wrong. Yes, sometimes people with bad intentions succeed in letting you down but believe that God will never leave your side and he will always give you something better. 

Thine self: At this age, you tend to love and respect yourself more. You're more comfortable about what you are because you know yourself better and you've wholeheartedly accepted your strengths and weaknesses. You know what you're good at so you highlight them. Just like wearing make up, you know you would look prettier with certain shades and, of course, it's what you always wear because you know it complements you. That is if you're not insecure. You see, insecurities eat up your well being, it blinds you from seeing the good that you're supposed to see in yourself. It's something that you should be able to identify in your personality so you can get over it. Knowing yourself- your strengths and weaknesses, you can easily identify what makes you happy and that's where you should focus your energy on. Sure there are things that make you feel bad and sad but you don't want to highlight it in your life because it wouldn't change anything. Hence, it would even make things worse. So, f*ck it! (I actually learned that recently from a good friend/co-worker/boss)

Just a brief warning though, don't be overly confident because too much of anything is poison. Sakto lang dapat :)

Life is imperfect but it's so beautiful. It's a gift that we need to preserve. So, now that I'm 30, I can happily say that I've learned a lot of lessons and I'm ready to apply them in the years to come. Everyday is a challenge of becoming a good person and a better person than you were the day before. Don't stress on it though, just appreciate life, always see good and positive things, then you'll be headed to the right direction. Commit mistakes and learn from them because it's part of life. 


Being able to write all these things have made me realize that I didn't have a lot of regrets in my life and although I'm not perfect, I've worked hard to always be on the good side to keep things together. I can look back and say that I've enjoyed 30 years of my life despite its flaws and complexities. I'm proud that I am living a life that I love, I'm happy, contented, positive and always striving to get the best out of my life :) ♥

Thursday, April 21, 2016

Commitment is A Sad Love Affair

When the pain is so overwhelming, you wouldn't even know which words to use, it's better to just paint a picture...



You are emotionally unstable, you are emotionally insecure. you make things tragic BITCH so go screw yourself!!! You unworthy piece of shit!!! -The way you made me feel.. yes, it was tragic indeed.